Not surprisingly they do not celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving in Australia. Thanksgiving is usually a major holiday for us as we have our Winnipeg family and honorary Winnipeg family (Schaapshers) over for a big meal that I cook in my pajamas throughout the day. I love Thanksgiving - it is my favourite holiday of the year. So I'm a little sad to miss it in the spring showers of Melbourne. It was made a little easier by a Google hangout with all my usual thanksgiving of dinner friends but I'm still a little sad about missing my favourite holiday this year.
I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for. First of all, I have a beautiful family of four who make me laugh and are caring and funny and a huge gift. I have the financial means to be able to take them on this year-long trip Down Under to experience new things and spend some time together as a family. I have a job that I love that gives me a tremendous amount of joy and fulfillment. I am healthy and able to take long walks with my kids to explore our new surroundings. I have a marriage that is strong, mutually respectful and built on a foundation of love and have had the privilege of enjoying that for almost 10 years. I have healthy parents and in-laws who are supportive of my family in so many big and little ways which is likely to include trips halfway across the world to see us. We have tremendous friends who nurture us and treat our children like their own. Lastly, I passed my exams this year and thus do not have that burden of stress over my head and can return to reading for enjoyment and learning for the sheer pleasure of acquiring knowledge - something that brings me so much joy.
The problem with only looking at the good side though is that it doesn't acknowledge the opposites of life. The good things are sweeter because the hard things are there to remind you to savour them. My children are a joy in my life but they are also really difficult at these ages. They are pushing the boundaries of their little lungs and bodies which is natural but trying as a mother that longs for some peace after a hard year. I love my usual job so much that I miss the security of "knowing what to do and being the one who gets to do it". Fellowship and research is rewarding but it can be isolating and humbling and sometimes planning for the big picture seems futile in the moment. We have the privilege of being healthy but it still hurts my heart when I can't understand what Cian wants to tell me and I watch how he struggles with his speech. It's a very difficult thing for me to have faith about and I don't talk about it often because usually I lock it up in the corner of my heart but it's probably my hardest struggle so I can't imagine how difficult it is for him. I lost my grandmother to ovarian cancer this year and I am just starting to scratch the surface of the grief associated with that. Cian and I made borscht yesterday and even the smells seem strange with her gone. I laugh at her incredibly vague recipes and wish I could call her to clarify (cook a small cabbage til it's done - what does that even mean? :P) I would love to tell her about our new adventure because even though she wasn't keen on them she always liked to hear about them after the fact. The bittersweet reality is everyday I see little bits of her in the cherub cheeks, lips and nose of my little girl. How they would have loved each other.
So I'm thankful this Thanksgiving even though it's not Thanksgiving here. Keith says it's because Aussies are thankful every day that nothing tried to kill them. I find it freeing to be thankful on a day I don't have to be. To acknowledge the hard things as a reminder to be truly thankful for all the really good things in our life.
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